Perfection does not exist. I know. Heart breaking. But, we all know it is true, and we all should have listened to Miley Cyrus when she told us that "everybody makes mistakes, and everybody has those days" because you know what? She has never been so right. (Though I also related to some of her other songs. Now I miss Miley Cyrus.)

It is hard for me to admit that perfection doesn't exist. I am far from a perfectionist, but I also hate making mistakes. Or, I used to. Now I am getting better at loving mistakes, but they aren't really mistakes if you learn from them; rather they are life lessons. I love life lessons. What I don't like is not making people happy.

I am going to use Miley Cyrus again because that will hopefully make this post somewhat more relatable and more light hearted than me just venting about my awful shitty terrible unfortunate mistake life lesson that was today.

When Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana, she couldn't tell her best friend her other life. She was making millions of fans happy. Getting them up out of their seat to dance, cry at the emotions behind the lyrics, and go all crazy fan girl when they saw that long blonde hair and white leather jacket. Yeah, you know exactly what outfit I am talking about. Regardless, she bailed on her friend at the concert to make her fans happy, ran back out to make her fans happy, and was unable to be in both places at once.

Yes, she ultimately told her friend, Lily? Emily Osmet's character the truth and then they were best friends and happy again, but that isn't how life is always going to work. Miley Cyrus was happy being both Hannah Montana and Miley because she made that choice to keep the two lives separate. She willingly made the choice that that would be how she ran her personal and "work" life, and they would be separate and she would be happy. Her happiness is what then created the happiness in her fans, and the happiness in her friendships.

But, you can't be focusing on other people's happy when you yourself aren't happy, because that is just a dangerous cycle you will be loopholed in, resulting the damaging relationships and friendships. And that really doesn't make anyone happy.

Life lesson today is this: Perfection is not real because everyone's idea of happiness is different. You can think that you just made the best apple pie in the world, and you can win every single apple pie award in the world, and there were still be people out there who don't like apple pie.

Be your own happy. Learn from mistakes. Be your own version of perfection.

How do you do that? Treat every day like it is your birthday, and let the negativity go. You need to cry it out? That helps me! Need to go run a few miles? That doesn't work for me, but exercise makes endorphins, and happy people don't kill their husbands (according to Elle Woods). Find your happy spot, find that moment, that one second in time where you are truly happy and genuinely not phased by the rest of the world and negativity and other people's standards, and go to that when you are stressing over not reaching perfection, because 9 times out of 10, you are already meeting your definition of perfection, and are just beating yourself up over someone else's definition.

Multiply and Blowout

A boy told me to listen to Ed Sheeran today and literally all I've been listening to all day is Ed Sheeran and I forgot how good he is. Hence the name of this blog post. Also, happy National Kiss A Ginger Day. Relatable. Good job, boy. Just kidding he had no idea it was National Kiss A Ginger Day, but told me yesterday was National Step In A Puddle Day...

So that is what I did at work today. Well, only part. I actually worked too. And broke a nail. And almost fell on my face. Lots of fun things.

We're going to talk about boys today. And by we I mean me, and by talk about I mean I'm going to vent and then we will get back to life and more important things that matter. So I guess my first question would be how do you feel about work relationships? I have seen them work and I have seen them fail. Both either extraordinary or awful. But never in between. Please share your stories, because I am actually very interested.
Disclosure - no I am not dating someone from my work. But I am crushing on one form what was a far and now not so far. He sang to me today and I kind of lost it but I am put back together now. Then he told me his favorite days were when he had meetings because he got to see me and walk past my desk. Done. And then I said oh yeah when I'm lucky and get to see you, and he counteracted saying he was the lucky one. Done. Again.

So they talk the talk, but can they walk the walk, while keeping up with me? My thing with guys, just from what I have learned from my past relationships is this:

• It shouldn't be work. Yes relationships take effort, but it shouldn't have to feel like work or like you are forcing it. Because once it is forced it is essentially over.
• It should be organic. This stems back to the work thing, but more importantly that is mutual on both sides, and just feels right. This one is difficult because I have been one in the past to not go with the flow, but really, that is the main way to develop a good relationship. Or that's what I think, at least.
• It needs to be mutual. Feelings, effort, everything.
• Communication is everything. Self explanatory.

This all being said, and the reason this is a topic on the blog today, is that someone asked me if I was dating anyone. And I would be lying if I said no, but I would also be lying if I said yes. Does that make sense? I should add a bullet point that "it shouldn't be complicated" but it most likely will be and we don't live in a perfect world. I hate saying I have a few guys in my back pocket, but that's kind of what it is. I don't like it. I like them each for their own special reasons. But I also love being single. Struggle city in the love department here. But it's okay. We're moving forward.

Work today was a catch up day. I caught up on things I needed to do, things I needed to organize, etc. Necessary, tedious, useful, long. But no complaints, as I ended my day with a complimentary DryBar blowout.

Erasable Pens

Hello, it's me.

I was going to do the whole "blog every day like a journal!" thing but clearly... that didn't work. But I'm not mad, and hopefully you aren't either. I want to be realistic with my postings, and posting over the weekend just was not happening. Plus I didn't really do anything too crazy exciting so it's okay. Today was a whirlwind at work, but first let's back track.

This past weekend was quiet. And it was exactly what I needed. I was able to plan, spend time with family and friends, straighten up, and even plan a weekend getaway! Of course, in my book, the most exciting thing about all of that is my weekend getaway with Rachel, but it isn't for two weekends so I need to contain my excitement.

Today at work, I learned all about patience, understanding, mistakes, and new beginnings.

Woah, where do I work? I bet if you thought about your day at work, you would come across some of those same key words.

Patience: I definitely don't have patience. But, I am learning. I had to be patient with my own work, with my coworkers, and even with a boy I started talking to.

Understanding: I had to take multiple steps back at work today and for all different reasons, which leads me to my third lesson...

Mistakes: We're human. They happen. I made a few today, but it's okay because our lives are very often written in pen or even sharpie. Granted, they aren't always written in pencil, either, but for the most part they are written in those weird erasable pens which don't really work but you can get away with it. It might leave a smudge or two, but that's okay because at least you learned from it.

New beginnings: People enter and leave your life. That's just how it works. If your life was one big coffee shop, it would get pretty boring if the same people stayed there all day every day, not to mention they would get sick of the coffee. It's natural for people to grow apart and others to grow closer, and it's even more natural for you to miss an opportunity that could be right in front of your face.

Happy Monday! Also, shoutout to my first two finished coloring pages from my adult coloring book!

Dream Job Turned Reality?

Happy Wednesday! Or Wednesday night, actually. I should probably start planning when these will go up, but there is something extremely calming about writing a blog post right before I go to bed. It allows me to get out all of my thoughts, and really process the day. Then again this post is going about about an hour later than normal because I got kind of carried away coloring in my adult coloring book. Which is still not rated r.

Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time. And I'm sure that I could say that about the past two or three days, but all day today I was genuinely happy. I was also told I was being too loud and too sassy at work today, but that's why I work where I work. Because I can be myself. Speaking of work, I think that that was one of the major reasons I was so incredibly happy. I arrived a few minutes late, not that anyone said anything, because I had to go to Ralph's this morning to get ingredients for a wine milkshake. Yes, you heard me correctly. Wine. Milkshake. We also went out and got burgers in Chinatown for lunch at the "In-n-out twin" (which it is very twin-like, but more expensive... Definitely the Annie rather than the Hallie in the Parent Trap combo, butler and all.)

Today at work I finally felt accepted. My goal kind of for the year I guess, and I am definitely saying goal in the loosest of terms, is to fully accept myself. Now that encompasses all of me so my appearance, my health, my mentality, my emotions, everything. But to finally feel accepted at work is a whole other accomplishment I could have never been more happy to receive. Especially since I was not looking for it.

For those who don't really know much about me, hi, I'm Kathryn. I graduated from USF in May 2015 with a bachelor's degree in Politics and Public Relations. I was undeclared the first two years, thought I found my calling in Politics, and then realized how fun PR could be, and how it would allow me to interact with more people my speed. Politics is great and all, but it has become such a negative atmosphere and so competitive rather than just trying to do the best for the world that I decided it just wasn't doing it for me. Career wise at least. I have no regrets graduating from college with my degree. I learned so much about politics, and was able to learn different views and stances on huge political topics. That was probably my favorite part. Learning about how other people saw the world. Taking that, I then took my very little PR knowledge and tried to make sense of the two of them together. I decided I should go into campaigns. Yet, the more and more I looked into it, and felt a connection to political campaigns, the more and more I realized it wasn't really what I wanted to do. Or at least not right now. Thankfully I had several PR internships in college which allowed me to have an internship at my current job, which then turned into full time position (woot woot!).

And here I am today. Doing something I would have never in a million years considered, loving every second of it, learning things every day, and questioning why I had never thought about doing what I do, because for right now, it is pretty much my dream job. I was over the moon with excitement when they offered me full time, and today, after back to back meetings, and taking photos, and writing articles and blog posts, it all just makes sense.

Growing up, I wanted to be something different every year, but one thing stayed the same: I never wanted to wake up in the morning angry to go to work because I hated my job. No work is perfect, nothing is a "dream" job. Everything has flaws, just like everyone does. Maybe it doesn't pay as much as you need for that perfect apartment, or theres some people you just do not get along with, or you aren't challenged enough. I'm starting to learn though, that when you learn how to improve upon and work past the flaws to thoroughly enjoy the work you put out that you have achieved your dream job, or if you are still not satisfied, it probably isn't the best job for you and you should change that. ASAP. Yet, I feel that I have currently created true happiness with my job. I started my job not only for what the job was, but mainly for the experience. And the experience I have already gained hasn't only been new things to add to my resume, but are also things to add to my day to day life.

Work hard. Set yourself up for nothing but success. See yourself living your dream. I promise you, the things you really truly desire in life are probably things you don't even know exist.

Sometimes Life Isn't a Perfect Scale

Life is all about balance. Finding a balance between work and social, health and wellness with your cravings for pizza, family time, friend time and you time. The struggles with finding balance is always asking when, where, and how much.

As much as I try to maintain a balanced life, things will never be perfect. Of course, everyone's life is perfectly imperfect. Each individual is perfect in their own kind of way, no matter what that may be and with whatever flaws that makes you unique.

So, let's balance out some things right now.
Want frozen yogurt? Go to the gym, work up a sweat, and go get you some fro-yo.
Want to go on a vacation? Save up, don't go shopping for a bit, and book your flight.
Cold, but don't feel like putting on socks? Throw on some Uggs.. I won't judge you.
Watching a video that scares you? Throw on some Spongebob and question why the inside of his round pineapple is square.


Starting to plan both my work and my social life in one planner is definitely the start of some balance, or at least so I think. What do I know, it's January 4, 2016 and I tweeted about starting 2015 off on the right foot this morning. You know, I'm human, I make mistakes.

Ironic how all I have been looking forward to is making this year great, and I am already back in the past year. See? Balance. Balancing reflecting on the past with planning the future, all while focusing in the present.

Then again, life could all be like riding a hover board and you think you're great until you fall forward, turn around too fast, fall backward, or your hover board bursts into flames. Who knows anymore.