Perfection does not exist. I know. Heart breaking. But, we all know it is true, and we all should have listened to Miley Cyrus when she told us that "everybody makes mistakes, and everybody has those days" because you know what? She has never been so right. (Though I also related to some of her other songs. Now I miss Miley Cyrus.)

It is hard for me to admit that perfection doesn't exist. I am far from a perfectionist, but I also hate making mistakes. Or, I used to. Now I am getting better at loving mistakes, but they aren't really mistakes if you learn from them; rather they are life lessons. I love life lessons. What I don't like is not making people happy.

I am going to use Miley Cyrus again because that will hopefully make this post somewhat more relatable and more light hearted than me just venting about my awful shitty terrible unfortunate mistake life lesson that was today.

When Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana, she couldn't tell her best friend her other life. She was making millions of fans happy. Getting them up out of their seat to dance, cry at the emotions behind the lyrics, and go all crazy fan girl when they saw that long blonde hair and white leather jacket. Yeah, you know exactly what outfit I am talking about. Regardless, she bailed on her friend at the concert to make her fans happy, ran back out to make her fans happy, and was unable to be in both places at once.

Yes, she ultimately told her friend, Lily? Emily Osmet's character the truth and then they were best friends and happy again, but that isn't how life is always going to work. Miley Cyrus was happy being both Hannah Montana and Miley because she made that choice to keep the two lives separate. She willingly made the choice that that would be how she ran her personal and "work" life, and they would be separate and she would be happy. Her happiness is what then created the happiness in her fans, and the happiness in her friendships.

But, you can't be focusing on other people's happy when you yourself aren't happy, because that is just a dangerous cycle you will be loopholed in, resulting the damaging relationships and friendships. And that really doesn't make anyone happy.

Life lesson today is this: Perfection is not real because everyone's idea of happiness is different. You can think that you just made the best apple pie in the world, and you can win every single apple pie award in the world, and there were still be people out there who don't like apple pie.

Be your own happy. Learn from mistakes. Be your own version of perfection.

How do you do that? Treat every day like it is your birthday, and let the negativity go. You need to cry it out? That helps me! Need to go run a few miles? That doesn't work for me, but exercise makes endorphins, and happy people don't kill their husbands (according to Elle Woods). Find your happy spot, find that moment, that one second in time where you are truly happy and genuinely not phased by the rest of the world and negativity and other people's standards, and go to that when you are stressing over not reaching perfection, because 9 times out of 10, you are already meeting your definition of perfection, and are just beating yourself up over someone else's definition.

Devil Needs a Schedule

As I sit down to write this post, just as I have the past week, I asked myself "what did today teach me?" But I didn't feel like just typing out my day, so we are going to have a play by play with GIFs from The Devil Wears Prada. Because, why not?

Well, today taught me a lot, and we will go into all of that, but the main thing it taught me is that I am a routine person. I plan things, I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I have a schedule and I enjoy sticking to it.

Today I set my alarm an hour early, to get to work two hours early, since I was leaving 5 hours early. Do you see how today made me realize that I like sticking to a set routine? My breakfast was eaten an hour earlier, my lunch was eaten an hour earlier, and even my dinner (which was frozen yogurt) was eaten earlier. So now, it is 9:30 and I'm hungry but it is too late to eat. It's fine I'm fine. Learn from your mistakes. Right? But in this case I want to grow from them.

Since working a 10-6 job, I haven't made the time to go to the gym. Do I go early in the morning or wait until the after work crowd dies down? That will be my experiment for next week. This week I kept it simple and just worked out at home.

So I was already thrown off this morning, and I also wore boots for the first time all week (sorry Nikes) so it was kind of a weird feeling in general. Getting to work 2 hours early helped a little, but definitely not a lot seeing as I still missed like 3 hours of solid work time, but it's okay, tomorrow is a new day. no stressing.

I had a meeting this morning and some tedious tasks that were just those things that need to be done but no one likes doing the, so once those were finished, my mom told me I needed to leave ASAP and so off I was, while everyone looked at me like "where do you think you're going?"

After leaving work at 1ish, I came home in no traffic, a crazy concept for LA, and took my mom to the dentist. Time just seemed to move at a glacial pace at this point.

I brought my book and read a few pages but kept being distracted my all of the patients coming in and out, the people gushing over Botox, setting up their kids to date in the future, and other receptionist gossip.

So, alas, I ended up watching some Periscope videos, listening to a few podcasts, and just like that my mom was out. This wasn't just a routine teeth cleaning, it was like surgery, but you probably don't need to know that. 

Regardless, we left the dentist to go get frozen yogurt, because what else are you supposed to eat after oral surgery. We walk in and the line to pay is weirdly long. Meaning, all of the people in the store were waiting to pay. Turns out, by the time we got to the register line, they figured out that the register was broken and everyone's fro-yos were free. Which I like weirdly felt bad about, but then again at the same time, free frozen yogurt. 

The rest of my day seems to be a blur. I'm at the point where it's just kind of like "what is free time" and "what do I do with it if it isn't the weekend?" My mom and I watched a movie, that was actually kind of depressing, and by kind of I mean if I saw it in the theatre I would have been one of two extremes: walked out or been super into it. But I wasn't so I just sat there, watched the movie, and enjoyed my frozen yogurt. 

And now? Well, post at home work out, right now I am planning on taking a nice hot shower, and getting a long, solid, night of sleep. And tomorrow, we return to the set schedule. And I cannot wait. 

Are you a routine person? A planner? How do you deal with not knowing what to do with your free time?

Dream Job Turned Reality?

Happy Wednesday! Or Wednesday night, actually. I should probably start planning when these will go up, but there is something extremely calming about writing a blog post right before I go to bed. It allows me to get out all of my thoughts, and really process the day. Then again this post is going about about an hour later than normal because I got kind of carried away coloring in my adult coloring book. Which is still not rated r.

Today was one of the best days I have had in a long time. And I'm sure that I could say that about the past two or three days, but all day today I was genuinely happy. I was also told I was being too loud and too sassy at work today, but that's why I work where I work. Because I can be myself. Speaking of work, I think that that was one of the major reasons I was so incredibly happy. I arrived a few minutes late, not that anyone said anything, because I had to go to Ralph's this morning to get ingredients for a wine milkshake. Yes, you heard me correctly. Wine. Milkshake. We also went out and got burgers in Chinatown for lunch at the "In-n-out twin" (which it is very twin-like, but more expensive... Definitely the Annie rather than the Hallie in the Parent Trap combo, butler and all.)

Today at work I finally felt accepted. My goal kind of for the year I guess, and I am definitely saying goal in the loosest of terms, is to fully accept myself. Now that encompasses all of me so my appearance, my health, my mentality, my emotions, everything. But to finally feel accepted at work is a whole other accomplishment I could have never been more happy to receive. Especially since I was not looking for it.

For those who don't really know much about me, hi, I'm Kathryn. I graduated from USF in May 2015 with a bachelor's degree in Politics and Public Relations. I was undeclared the first two years, thought I found my calling in Politics, and then realized how fun PR could be, and how it would allow me to interact with more people my speed. Politics is great and all, but it has become such a negative atmosphere and so competitive rather than just trying to do the best for the world that I decided it just wasn't doing it for me. Career wise at least. I have no regrets graduating from college with my degree. I learned so much about politics, and was able to learn different views and stances on huge political topics. That was probably my favorite part. Learning about how other people saw the world. Taking that, I then took my very little PR knowledge and tried to make sense of the two of them together. I decided I should go into campaigns. Yet, the more and more I looked into it, and felt a connection to political campaigns, the more and more I realized it wasn't really what I wanted to do. Or at least not right now. Thankfully I had several PR internships in college which allowed me to have an internship at my current job, which then turned into full time position (woot woot!).

And here I am today. Doing something I would have never in a million years considered, loving every second of it, learning things every day, and questioning why I had never thought about doing what I do, because for right now, it is pretty much my dream job. I was over the moon with excitement when they offered me full time, and today, after back to back meetings, and taking photos, and writing articles and blog posts, it all just makes sense.

Growing up, I wanted to be something different every year, but one thing stayed the same: I never wanted to wake up in the morning angry to go to work because I hated my job. No work is perfect, nothing is a "dream" job. Everything has flaws, just like everyone does. Maybe it doesn't pay as much as you need for that perfect apartment, or theres some people you just do not get along with, or you aren't challenged enough. I'm starting to learn though, that when you learn how to improve upon and work past the flaws to thoroughly enjoy the work you put out that you have achieved your dream job, or if you are still not satisfied, it probably isn't the best job for you and you should change that. ASAP. Yet, I feel that I have currently created true happiness with my job. I started my job not only for what the job was, but mainly for the experience. And the experience I have already gained hasn't only been new things to add to my resume, but are also things to add to my day to day life.

Work hard. Set yourself up for nothing but success. See yourself living your dream. I promise you, the things you really truly desire in life are probably things you don't even know exist.