Journaling v. Blogging

Monday, February 22, 2016

They say journaling is good for the soul. I, personally, feel more comfortable typing. It gets difficult, though, when you feel like you have so much to say, and you had these great ideas and bullet points in your head when you were sitting in traffic going to work this morning, yet when you finally have a chance to breathe, take a sip of wine, and unwind at the keyboard, you have nothing.

Mental constipation. 

So, with that being said, and another Monday under the rug, I want to talk about moving forward. It is hard to really "forget" the past. The past is a lesson and everything that happened in your past happened for a specific reason, and the same goes for your future. If it is meant to be, it will be. In 8th grade my quote was "everything happens for a reason." And while everyone else had Michelle Branch quotes or lyrics from their current favorite band at the time, little 8th grade me kind of sort of knew what she was talking about. Go, self! Now if only I could have stuck with that ideology through high school.

High school was kind of a wobbly phase for me, I didn't know where I fit in, I didn't know who I was, I was confused, wanted to be liked, and thankfully found some of my best friends I still have today. Surround yourself with likeminded people. They are worth it. My senior year of high school, I realized I needed to get away, and that meant Northern California, where it was far but not too far.

I ultimately didn't find myself until senior year of college. After a breakup. Or so I thought...
I became comfortable with who I was in college around sophomore year because I didn't have to try. What a concept. Actually be yourself, and you will attract good quality people. See, looking back I realize how many signs were presented to me, but I probably thought I was too cool or mature to do that. So here I am, trying to find myself all over again. I process I don't really want to end, because I feel like I am constantly evolving.

Just like this blog post, life starts from nothing. You sit down, think you have a five year plan, and then three years into it you change your mind, find your true passion at that moment, and the train leaves the tracks of your five year plan to ultimately follow your heart in what is right for you at that moment. Don't live for the future, live in the moment. What is right for you know, most likely won't be what is right for you in five years. So you want that cupcake? Eat it. You want to apply to grad school? Send in those applications. You want to continue working at the job you love but al your coworkers hate? Get that job experience, and prove yourself to no one other than yourself by sticking it out.

The world is a crazy place, and we just kind of have to run with it.
And with all of that being said, those are my Monday thoughts for the day. And see? If I would have been writing in a journal my hand probably would've gotten tired, I would have smudged something, and I would've ended up doodling. Which might have been cool, but here I am. Thanks for reading all the way through this ramble!

When Is Cheating Okay?

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

You're probably reading the title of this post and are like uhm, hi cheating is never okay. Here are a few case scenarios where cheating is not most definitely not okay:
  • in a relationship
  • on a test
  • when it comes to money/taxes
You get the idea. So where can you cheat? Well, that is what this post is all about!

Last week I went to the gym every morning before work. Five out of seven days, way more than my average, and I hadn't felt better in weeks. So, why stop? This past Monday morning I woke up, and went to the gym. Same thing, starting a fantastic new habit, and I was all about it. Monday night rolled around though, and I was tired, didn't feel my best, and decided you know what? As great as I feel when I go to the gym in the morning, I am going to allow myself to sleep in. So, I did! Did I feel as great as I did when I go to the gym? No. Did I regret sleeping in? Definitely not. Everyone is allowed a cheat day. And when I say this, I don't mean go binge on ice cream and not eat anything remotely healthy, but it is okay to splurge every once in awhile, and get out of the routine, because it will make you realize one of two things.
  1. You're doing the right thing with your routine. Stick with it because it makes you feel amazing.
  2. Maybe there is something missing or off in your current routine, so try changing it up a bit!
Both create a learning experience. Both result in positive outlooks. Both will ultimately make you happier. Win, win, win!

Waking up an hour early to go to the gym is so crazy rewarding, it is insane. Of course, working out is great for you and great for your body, but I love the endorphins it gives, the motivation it gives me to really live my day out to the fullest, and there is something about watching the sunrise after leaving the gym in the morning. I am just starting to realize that all aspects of my life are somehow interconnected, and as I was finding happiness in some aspects of my life, I began developing happiness and healthiness in others; i.e. going to the gym more! 

Goals aren't goals until you start them. A goal that hasn't been started is just a dream.

You don't want to go to the gym tomorrow because you'd rather stay home and paint your nails? Girl, you do it. And while you're at it, catch up on some Netflix. You deserve it. It isn't cheating, it is treating. You are human and you deserve a change and a gift every once in awhile, so give it to your body!

I read an article on fitness trackers the other day from Refinery 29 and I realized so many things I had only thought about subconsciously about my fitness tracker. I have a FitBit Charge and it tracks my steps, flights, calories, and distance. It probably tracks other things, (like my sleep) but I primarily use it for my steps. I try to hit my step goal every day, but again, I am human. I don't do much walking at work, at max I get around 3,000 steps, which is like nothing. Yesterday, when I cheated, I only got like 4,000 steps. If that. This morning, I went to the gym, I had almost 6,000 by noon. So how did that make me feel? Like shit. I felt terrible that I could have done all of these steps the day before, and it was a day wasted, and just started beating myself up over this one day I took off, when it dawned on me that I went to the gym five times the previous week. The last time I went tot he gym five times in one week was when I was a sophomore in college. I was doing great. In fact, taking that day off was such a relief, because later that day I felt I was getting sick, so I was able to properly rest.

Why am I rambling on about my FitBit and numbers? Because that is it. They are just numbers. Yes, I love my FitBit, and I accept all of the challenges, and I try to it my step goal daily, but that's just it, it is just a number. It is a goal, but I will wake up the next morning and be able to do it again. It is not a one time shot. It is just like that scenario if you had x amount of dollars and had to spend it in one day what would you do with it, and it turns out to be seconds in the day. Your day is what you make it. Make it a day that makes you happy. Get those endorphins, grab a $5 cup of coffee, eat ice cream, see a friend, run 5 miles, smile uncontrollably. 

There is a saying that is on like every poster and wall decor sign in HomeGoods that says "Do One Thing Every Day That Makes You Happy." Why not 2? or 3? or 10?

The sky is the limit, so put your head in the clouds! 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what this word means to me.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Sometimes, I trust people too easily, or I fall too fast, or I jump to conclusions. I'm a human being. It happens. It's what makes me, me.

I drafted the above sentence a week ago, and I couldn't bring myself to finish it. The line between my personal and work life became blurred and I lost direction for a solid two days. I went to Ojai and thought that would solve all of my problems, but I just came back form the perfect weekend to more upsets. Thursday and Friday were two of the longest days for me, and I have never felt so sluggish and unproductive. But I am here, I am back to normal, whatever "normal" is, and feel myself again, only stronger.

This post is going to revolve around the two things I have spent the past few days thinking about: standards and respect.

My whole life (I know, all 22 years, big whoop, but still) I have said I have high standards. Yet, I have recently found myself in entrapping relationships. I don't mean dating relationships, that is not a thing, no no no. Relationships meaning friendships, coworkers, people I have let into my life with open arms. Of course, everyone has a guard up, but where is that wall. Everyone is entitled to different standards and those coincide with different walls. These can be emotional walls, trust walls, they truly range.

My first relationship was my junior year of college. It lasted almost a year, and was the perfect "first relationship." My standards were only raised from there on out, or so I thought. I began wanting that love back, but in the process I had stopped loving myself. That was what this year was supposed to be about. I decided to take a chance and put myself out there, only this time with someone at work. It was friendly to begin with, but then became flirty, only to find out he had a girlfriend. Lies were told, feelings hurt, and I was placed between the two of them unwillingly. Nothing happened, but it allowed me to realize not everyone can be trusted.

Now this definitely is not a negative thing, but rather, a lesson. A lesson learned that people suck. Again, not negative, just a truth. No one is perfect. Just like I said above, I jump to conclusions. It is a natural thing to do.

Luckily, all of that drama that occurred with said terrible person is over, I made my peace with it, confronted him (told him he was not a good person and I wanted nothing to do with him) and continued on my life. Yet, that was only the ripple in the wave that was about to come crashing down. Work has always been this concept to me. I have never wanted my work to feel like work. Does that make sense? I value the word career and hope that I am on the proper path to fulfilling that, but at the same time I realize I am only 22 and my career life is just barely getting warmed up, but this past week there was a cloud over my head at work. Whether you can say "grateful" or not, this cloud was not only above me, but was above the whole office, and if you are one of those people who can leave work and leave it in the office, kudos to you, because I am most definitely not.

I value my time and I value the people I spend my time with. During the week, the majority of my time is spent with coworkers, so, in turn, if there is negativity at work, it will most likely follow me home. Thankfully, this issue was resolved as I walked into work this morning with a huge smile on my face and a rocking lipstick, but that doesn't look over the fact that I felt disrespected. Whether it is work, a relationship, family, friends, each individual deserves respect, and this past week has really tested me in my personal beliefs and standards.

So, here we are. one month into 2016, and so many lessons have already been learned. Here is to continuing to grow as a person, and seeing what the rest of this year (which is already going by quickly) can bring.

P.S.: Had a mini photo shoot at work last week, and here are some of the photos!

Blouse: Target
Sweater: Urban Outfitters
Jeans: Gap
Necklaces: Target